Luke 1:25 “The Lord has done this for me,” she said. “In these days he has shown his favour and taken away my disgrace among the people.”
How do you feel to live as a failure? (Not just in the eyes of others but even in your own).
What do you do when deep inside you feel you have not achieved anything and your life is just passing by, while others around you are making sense of their life? Where do you hide, or what do you say to yourself in those moments? More importantly, how do you tell the world that you matter; or prove to yourself that you are worth something?
Often in my life, I do take up many tasks to prove to myself that I am good enough or that I am better than others. Many of us struggle with this kind of desire or things that are often birthed from misplaced motives. And some of us know how painful it is to live with the regret of building something that eventually still make us empty, sad, and with less joy and peace.
I didn’t know my friend would utter those words that misty morning while working in their yard. I had gone there to help, but what I heard was a story of life they built together on a wrong foundation. As I was parting, the words that lingered in my heart were, “I think we both jumped into this relationship for wrong reasons, wish we had waited and checked our hearts.”
Thinking about it, I wonder how many times I have felt the same emotional distress because of things that I have done to escape the emptiness and ended up in a lot more of a mess. I have often wondered if I had waited for God, than in the name of God birthing “Ishmaels” instead of “John”.
When I read Elizabeth’s story from the gospel of Luke, I see a woman who, like many others, had the typical desires. The desire to give birth and have a son, to have an average family. She lived a holy and blameless life and followed all the commandments along with her priestly husband, yet she was childless. In her own words, she lived through this “disgrace.” But what I see is that she didn’t make a mistake like her ancestor Sarah who forced her husband to do the thing her way (that did help her for a time but, in the end, caused more pain and trouble). I feel Elizabeth’s story informs us of a person behind closed doors waiting on God’s favour and His ways to have a significant and meaningful life than she could ever imagine or comprehend.
The question I ask myself in this season of life is, “Why is it so hard to wait on God? Or what’s the real reason behind my prayers?